Practice Setting Boundaries

Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.

-Anna Taylor

Over the weekend I was feeling pretty awful and wanted to stay home but my son had his first soccer game and I wanted to be there. I stood aside to be alone when a friend approached me. I told her I didn’t feel like socializing so she gave me a hug, we exchanged a few words and she walked away. What a gift it was to be able to tell this friend what I needed at that moment and she respected that without taking it personally. I don’t feel safe saying that to everyone but imagine what a different world it would be if we could express to those around us what we needed and they could honor that? We can start by creating this space for our friends. “You don’t have to take care of my feelings,” I often tell those closest to me. We can help each other set boundaries by letting your friends say ‘no’ without giving an explanation, by recognizing that we are responsible for our own feelings and stop blaming others for ‘making’ us feel a certain way. This also means giving freely when we want to without expecting anything in return. We can decide to give our energy and time to people who respect and embrace these things so that we can learn to love and honor ourselves more. I hope you have friends with whom you can practice these things because setting boundaries is hard. Respecting and honoring ourselves takes practice.