I can’t believe it’s already 2018. I remember when I was a little girl in the 80s, we had to draw a picture of what we thought 2000 would look like in school. Of course, everyone’s pictures included floating cars, space travel and other fantastically futuristic images. Now I look at the new year and realize we are only 2 years away from 2020! Wow!

I turn 46 next month. I used to think about my 40s and feel so much despair at how much I aged. I felt so old… This year, I feel different. I feel grateful for how young I still am, how much time I still have left, how there are still tens of thousands of days left… All these days, all these moments are opportunities to live my life with intention and purpose and it fills me with gratitude and joy.

I was never a fan of New Year’s resolutions and never made them. Losing weight, saving money, being a better mom, reading more, etc. are examples of common ones I saw people make all the time. My thought’s always been if you want those things, just start. Just start now. Why wait? Why wait only to fail before year’s end, to feel like a failure and replay that old story in your head that tells you you’re not enough. I would judge people who made resolutions because that’s what I believed about myself. It’s why I resisted making them. I feel differently this year.

I’ve spent the last two weeks entombed in fear and my story as I try to set my value and worth for my I Matter program. I haven’t been my true self. I’ve been impatient, felt like a victim, blamed others for how I felt and it all came from fear. Fear that I wasn’t enough and that I would fail. But I am working on letting that go and part of that is choosing to see the last two weeks with gratitude instead of fear. To remember these times are important life lessons and opportunities to learn. To remember it takes an incredible amount of energy and work to stay on my path. To remember my fear and story will keep coming back again and again. To learn to lean into fear.

But I am working on letting that go and part of that is choosing to see the last two weeks with gratitude instead of fear.

With the new year upon us, I see the value of setting goals now. It’s a fresh start and although every day is an opportunity for a fresh start, the new year feels different today. It is full of hope. So rather than focusing on resolutions, I will focus instead on my intentions for 2018 which are to…

Trust my voice.
Lean into fear.
Be vulnerable.
Know my worth.

I hope your new year will be full of hope, of gratitude and joy. I hope you lean into your fears, recognize who you truly are and have moments, however brief, that remind you you are enough.

*Featured image from Pixabay.com