Stop filling in the blank

One of the big things I had to really work on as a businesswoman was following up. I used to resist it because I always felt bad about “bothering” people and made up reasons and stories in my head for why someone didn’t get back to me after initial contact. ⠀⠀⠀

When I used to do family photography and struggle with unworthiness, I would just assume that I wasn’t good enough and no one really wanted to work with me or that I said the wrong thing or inadvertently offended someone. None of these were true…I was just accustomed to filling in the blank and filled them with the worst stories I could imagine. I was uncomfortable with the unknown and always tried to create a known (which was always wrong btw).⠀

When I started doing women’s portrait photography, I started regularly following up, letting go of assumptions and recognizing that I didn’t really know anything. One time, I followed up with a woman several times over a period of months and when she did finally get back to me, she confessed that she was struggling with whether or not she was worthy enough to invest in herself and to be photographed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀

We humans don’t like the unknown. We like to categorize and put everyone and everything into neat little boxes that make sense for us. We weave stories based on our beliefs and worldview to create the known, the reasons why people behave the way they do and if we feel unworthy or insecure, we make it all about us.

Not filling in the blank and being comfortable with the unknown when we interact with others is an act of kindness. It give others the space to be themselves and takes the pressure off them to meet our oftentimes wrong expectations. When we stop filling the blank, not just with people but with everything else that happens to us, it gives us the freedom to move through the world with more ease.

Photo by Brandi Redd on Unsplash