The journey of feeling everything

After an incredible period of darkness, I went through an awakening, which was dramatic and happened over a few months. I remember feeling SO good. As we would say in woo terminology, I was at a really high vibration. It was as if everything was dialed up and I was intensely present in every moment. I remember one day walking to pick up my kids from school and intensely experiencing the sound of the leaves crunching under my feet, the bright colors of the changing leaves, and noticing all the sounds around me. Nothing “bad” could affect me I felt so good. I thought I was done, having reached Nirvana. That lasted for a blissful few months.⠀

Fast forward and I found myself falling out of that high vibration because…life happened. I would do what I could to try and keep returning to it, trying to maintain feeling good all the time. It wasn’t until I started exploring my shadow sides that I saw the true complexity of an awakened life.

Today I see the journey so differently. I see the importance of duality and seeing that we are made up of both light and dark and that these two things are not separate or opposite. They are complementary and make up two halves of a whole. We should feel good. It’s important. But it’s also important to lean into the times when we’re not feeling that way and understand that feeling is what makes us human and trying to avoid it is when we get in trouble.

Today, life is no longer about the pursuit of only feeling good. It is the pursuit of feeling everything and allowing myself to be the complex, flawed human that I am. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Photo by Matteo Di Iorio on Unsplash